Wondering about Set Backs

I'd been feeling a bit depressed here and there. A few days, well, I have been plagued with suicidal thoughts and ideas. These were bothersome for a few days. I was also a bit depressed and have been a bit scattered. On Saturday I seriously thought about going back on the Wellbutrin and wondered if the way I was feeling was because I wasn't on it any more.

I'm feeling quite pressured by time as well, I noticed it a few days ago and when I think back its been an issue.

I totally ignored my taxes and stuff, this is the 4th year in a row. I did one major thing, call my accountant and ask him a question. I left a message and emailed. I asked if I had to file in order by year. I don't.
I don't know why I asked, I needed to make contact.... I literally told him I was going to wait until after the 15th to deal with it anyhow...

I can't even talk about it....

I've been feeling a bit sketchy, wanting to stay home from work every day, really badly. I have time off next week and I can't wait, spring break.

I'm telling myself I'm going to go out and take photos and enjoy the city. At least that is an improvement.

We'll see if I actually do it... I need to take the w2s to the accountant and let him do the taxes....

we'll see if I actually do...

I've remembered dreaming a few nights. No details of the dreams, just that I did. That is new.
That is normal for me, but I haven't remembered dreams in years... used to be an avid dream rememberer.

I hope I don't end up back on the Wellbutrin. I can tell a difference....

I was proud of being off of it and at the psychiatrist, he actually said "well it's only been three weeks so let's just sit tight"...

it bothered me that he said that, that expressed doubt, of course I didn't say anything....

I haven't seen the therapist for over a year I think.

I've felt very bored in general....

I still smoke pot, in small doses, to quell anxiety...

it's just pexeva and 2.5 mg of zyprexa now....

I'm glad I'm off of Wellbutrin. I think I'm doing okay.... time is telling