Saturday, May 3, 2008

Should I go Back on Wellbutrin?

I have been feeling "depressed" a lot. Not so much sad, as bored, empty, hollow, lifeless, hopeless, it is wavering quite a bit, the "bad" feelings; I'll forget for a while, then it hits me again.

I feel anxious if I don't have pot and I use pot to quell the feeling, but in general, I felt better overall when on the Wellbutrin.

The reason I stopped taking it was because of terrible headaches when I started new hiv meds that I contributed to Wellbutrin. Although being on Wellbutrin increases chances of seizure (which I've never had) it may be worth it.

Like today for instance, I got up, did the Time's Crossword... most of it, don't want to go out to the Cherry Blossom Festival.

I am depressed feeling, low... its so hard to describe...

I have begun to remember dreams again, bits and pieces, actually 3 this week. I even woke up acting out a dream last night... I thought of having an out of body experience while looking at the shadows on the wall just before falling asleep last night. I woke up grabbing at the fabric of the dream, a woman's dress, walking toward me, a group of people rushing me, grabbing her dress was grabbing the fabric of the dream and as I pulled it away, like pulling a movie screen down, I was awake sitting up pulling up the sheets.